"What is wrong with me? Why can't I lose weight permanently?"
If you've ever asked yourself this question, then you've probably also wondered:
"I have such ability to make other changes in my life, why do I struggle so much with this one?"
"I have a great tenacity to stick at other things in my life, how come I am so weak willed when it comes to losing weight?"
"How come other people lose weight but I still struggle?"
Well, after years of being in this same dilemma I figured out that it's NOT that we are weak willed, or lack the tenacity to lose weight permanently. The fact of the matter is, we have been using a mindset of thought processes and a range of habits that work against our motivation, rather than with it.
What you have probably not noticed is the 98% of people, like you, who put all the weight back on and more within 2-3 years! Like me you may well have believed the propaganda that you can be a perfect size 10 if only you try harder, which has meant you have spent years ignoring reality!
Motivation for change and lose weight permanently is NOT about working harder it is about working smarter. The key is NOT to keep repeating the same patterns of habits and thoughts that are working against you. It is also about being realistic regarding what you can change. Foremost it is about loving yourself now NOT at some distant time when you are a desired weight.
To effect any significant motivation and long-lasting change to your shape, size or weight you firstly need to accept 3 things...
1. The reality of 'What is'
2. That fear holds us back from achieving the changes we desire
3. Change is an ongoing process NOT A DESTINATION!
By the reality of 'What is', I mean accepting you body shape and the assets you were genetically born to with. That includes, for many people, accepting that the body changes shape with age. It is also about accepting that you are unique, beautiful and different. So comparing yourself to others is a complete waste of time and energy!
Accepting 'What is' and finding ways of learning to love all of you as you are now, is essential to sustained weight loss motivation. Of course that doesn't mean not having a clear vision or goal of the changes you want to create, just that they need to be realistic and achievable.
For some, but not all, there are fears holding you back! Lots of them that stop you achieving the permanent weight loss you so long for. The problem is that some fears are so well hidden that you probably do not even know they are there! In the book 'FAT, Exploding the Myths' by Lisa Colles, Dawn French describes her fear of "not knowing who she was or how to use her body" when she reduced in size to a 10-12 for her wedding day. Our fears come in all shapes and sizes and for some, acknowledging them is an essential part of the change process.
One of the biggest barriers to change, however, is seeing it as an enforced period of stress, struggle, scarcity or conflict that eventually has an end. Learning to love change in all its facets and seeing the learning in each day is so important. Accepting the joys of new experiences and being excited in the knowledge that it is not the destination that is important but the ongoing journey. These are the keys to weight loss success and sustained motivation.